Recently, someone that I didn’t know, hadn’t met before and haven’t met since, spent several hours persistently asking me if being transgender is a sin.
For a little context, let me preface this a bit by saying that I had shared a quote on my super awesome Instagram page, @TransitionalChristian (Sorry about the shameless plug, but not really. Visit the page, give me a like. I enjoy those.)
Anyway, this particular quote was “I almost always find my strength during my most vulnerable moments.”
So, armed with that knowledge, it’s perfectly logical that this persons obsession with my genitals was immediately triggered and they simply weren’t going to move on until they got their answer. Long story short, I sent him off with a lecture and a block, but no answer. It was none of their business simply because they had made it their concern and I can only handle the same boring talking points buzzing in my ear for so long.
Interestingly though, this person triggered some fairly deep reflection. I’m no stranger to that, but this is a pretty icky gray area that I try to avoid. Over and over tonight I was asked if being transgender was a sin. I never did offer an answer, because if I’m to be fully honest, I simply don’t know. I don’t think so. I certainly hope not. But I do not know. I know that I love God and God loves me in all of my brokenness.
So here we are. I’m transgender. There’s really not much that I can do about that other than neglecting my suggested medical regimen, returning to living a complete lie 24/7 (I was really quite good at that) and pretend to feel like I was living a wholesome life until I finally ended up driving off a bridge out of sheer misery and self hatred.
Or….and this is a big or….I could live the life that I firmly believe that I was created for. I can embrace this amazing person that I’ve grown into with Gods help, delivered from my alcoholism and cocaine dependency, into a place where I’m able to help, support, encourage and uplift others in Gods name while doing my best to show Christ’s love in everything that I do.
I feel pretty certain that I’ll stick to the second scenario. It makes me joyful and it makes it possible to be a person that dedicates their life to service. If after all of that, God decides that my gender is the one thing that will keep me out of heaven, I will die knowing that I had done all that I could do.
If that worries you, my prayer is that you’ll search your heart. Find the thing that’s holding you back from offering unconditional love. The process of finding the source may suck, but I promise you that it’s worth the work. It’s so much happier on this side.
We’ll walk through it together, if you’d like.